Pop Vultures

Last year, around this time, I was watching Heroes every week because I found the concept interesting, the characters likeable and the plot promising, even though I wasn’t yet convinced that it was actually any good. And, really, with its dialogue and bloated cast, I had a right to be concerned.

This year, I am watching Heroes every week because I remember how they were able to dig their way out of last season’s flat dialogue and pointless characters and construct a fabulous story arc just in time. Think they’ll be able to do it again?

I’ve thoughtfully come up with a helpful list of what Heroes needs to stop doing if it wants to get back on track.

Thoughts and spoilers after the jump.

Step 1: Stop adding new characters. No, really. Stop. You haven’t killed off enough old characters to justify all these new ones, especially when you give us no reason to care about the new ones. Four episodes in, and I still can’t remember their names. For four episodes, all we have seen is these twins running around Mexico while wearing black special effect contacts and moaning about how cruel life is. And…yeah, that’s pretty much it. Why are they on my screen? Why are they taking time away from Hiro and Peter and characters that are actually interesting? Hopefully, Sylar will kill them soon. Which leads us to step 2…

2. Why is Sylar back already? Have they already run out of ideas for bad guys? It’s a comic book, for fuck’s sake. We need a whole slew of villains with silly names based on animals or random colors. You mix them up, change them around. I watched all of the first season in order to see Sylar finally get his, and he got…a trip to some island? Which he somehow escaped? I’m a strong believer in having a new Big Bad for every season, and if they are determined to bring him back, couldn’t they at least have the courtesy to wait until we missed him a little? I know Zachary Quinto is hot, but there’s enough eye candy already on the show that we’ll probably get by. Give us a new Big Bad this season, someone new and original and, here’s a thought, interesting.

Step 3: No more child actors. None. Really. I’ll tolerate Micah, but his annoying cousin has to go, and Molly? Well, I’m sure the actress is a perfectly lovely girl, but I’m rather rooting for Parkman’s dad to destroy her. Is that wrong?

As with last season, there are just enough bright spots to keep me watching. Whatever is going on with Nathan looks promising, though the whole mirror thing is a bit of deja vu. It didn’t work with Jessiniki, so I have to hope they aren’t recycling that plot point. Plus, when we were shown Nathan Hyde, my first response was, “Oh, I forgot about that.” Too much time on Emo Homocidal Twins, not enough on intriguing plots. When you have approximately 482 different stories occurring simultaneously, make each scene count. Make something happen. Because four episodes in, and I’m still not sure what this season is about.

And I miss Hiro and Ando.

What do you think? Is Heroes off track or has it just hit a small speed bump?