Perhaps, in your weaker moments, you think the writers’ strike might not be too terrible. You would watch less television, thereby freeing up enough time to finish that novel, or knit a sweater, or cure cancer. Finally, you can prove how useful you are to society when the great time-sucking device no longer controls your evenings.
Of course, for those who’ve already come to terms with the fact that they don’t especially want to be useful to society, it’s a darker time. Even so, it can be a chance to hone that Internet addiction or, better yet, really dig into some reality television. I mean, everyone has their guilty reality pleasure, whether it’s Dancing With the Stars or The Bachelor or (god help me) America’s Next Top Model. Finally, you can watch them with all of the pleasure and none of the guilt, because there will be nothing else on.
Except, after a quick perusal of the upcoming reality shows, we’re looking at very little pleasure and a whole lot of pain.
We’ve got ABC’s Duel, which seeks to cross Jeopardy with the World Series of Poker by having contestants use poker chips to bluff their way through answering trivia questions. I think I speak for everyone when I say: “What the fuck?” Of course, leave it to Fox to decide that the other shows fail to provide the deeply humiliating, cringe-worthy experience you can only get when you strap contestants to a lie detector and ask them embarrassing questions about their personal lives in The Moment of Truth. If that’s not bad enough, ABC Family is offering up my own personal hell with America’s Prom Queen, in which a series of vapid, self-obsessed young women are asked to prove their prom queen qualifications through a series of rigorous tests (the ability to spread gossip at light speed? knowledge of sixteen different ways to self tan?). I’ll tell you right now: the only way I’m going back to high school in my free time is if Aaron Spelling is in control.
Perhaps I’ll end up finishing that novel after all. It will the sad, true story of a woman slowly driven mad when forced to watch unending repeats of American Gladiator. Her only hope for salvation is the television box sets with which she is slowly building an impenetrable fortress around her sofa.
What do you think? Looking forward to any of these shows, or are you formulating your own survival plan?
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December 4th, 2007 at 2:56 pm
I saw a Moment of Truth promo the other day. Yikes. I’m finally starting to understand the horror of the writers’ strike.
December 5th, 2007 at 5:21 pm
My survival plan involves TV on DVD courtesy of the blessed Zip.ca. And books.
December 5th, 2007 at 7:15 pm
I am looking forward to five uninterrupted months of guilt-free American Idol, myself. With the strike I am sure it will be on at least 4 nights a week. Yes, I am a sucker.
December 5th, 2007 at 9:07 pm
Rachel, I’ve already lined up seasons 3 and 4 of The Wire and am thinking I’ll check out Bones at last. What have you added to your Zip.ca queue?
KristinKay, you are a stronger woman than I am. I can make it through the performance hour, but the results show is just more filler and Paula Abdul than can take.
February 6th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
marcia, marcia, marcia!
What makes you so sure you are correct about the cast on the show America’s Prom Queen? Do you honestly assume that just because someone wants to go on the show it means they are as so described? Sorry hun….we can go round and round on that one….you wont win. You are incorrect that all the girls on the show were ” self-obsessed young women are asked to prove their prom queen qualifications through a series of rigorous tests (the ability to spread gossip at light speed? knowledge of sixteen different ways to self tan?).”. Believe it or not….you might be surprised to see that there are a couple of non airheads on the show, students who finished top in their class, and girls not stuck on themselves. Were you there for the taping to see the candidates? If you find ALL the girls to be like that, I will eat my hat….but if I am correct, you can eat yours.