Pop Vultures

Project Runway S04 E04: Trendsetter

Previously on Project Runway: Carmen sent a partially-clothed model down the runway and was punished by Heidi.

The show starts with the mandatory scene of designers claiming to miss the booted contestant while trying not to smile through the interview. They’re still there, bitches! Over in the guy’s apartment, the men are planning the Project Runway perfume, a charming blend of tears, sweat and Chinese food. What, no blood? Where’s the dedication?

Runway time, and…model swap! As last week’s winner, Jack has first choice and promptly swaps for Lee, thereby incurring Ricky’s wrath. Apparently, he is now seeing Jack’s true colors, despite the fact that Ricky himself grabbed Lee from Elisa in episode 2. It’s only justified when Ricky does it, you know. Everyone else is being a bitch.

Cut to the workroom and what is arguably the most interesting challenge yet. Judge Nina Garcia has brought photos of the worst fashion trends over the years, and the designers goggle at the horror of the oversized sweaters and neon colors. Jillian, who is wearing overalls, is none too pleased to see that Nina has included them among the 12 dead fashion trends. Awkward.

The designers all pick their preferred fashion crime and are given the challenge: they must work in groups of three and create a collection that incorporates and updates all three outdated trends. The designers get to choose their own teams, and the breakdown is as follows: Sweet P, Steven and Chris get baggy sweaters, shoulder pads and dancewear; Victorya, Elisa and Ricky have neon, cutouts and lingerie on the outside; Jack, Kit and Christian have pleather, fringe and zoot suits; and Rami, Jillian and Kevin get to update 70s flare, poodle skirts and overalls. Jillian is going to prove Nina wrong, yo.

The designers sketch and plan, and from the start it’s clear that Chris’s team is in trouble. They immediately decide that their trends won’t possibly work well together (Seriously? You couldn’t figure out a way to make a baggy sweater go with dancewear? Try harder, dudes.), and decide to do individual designs and connect them through color. That has never, ever fooled the judges before, but hope springs eternal, right? Chris is voted the leader.

The 80s wonderland team of Ricky, Elisa and Victorya are a sitcom waiting to happen. It would star the flamboyant gay guy, the hippy trippy Earth mother and the passive aggressive asshole. I’m sorry, am I giving away the ending? Victorya clearly states that she does not want to be the leader, and nominates Ricky for the post. However, that doesn’t mean she wants to work with her teammates or use any of their ideas. Really, it seems like she wants to remove herself from the judge’s firing line in case her ideas go horribly wrong.

The party team of Jack, Christian and Kit have a big lovefest and, for a few moments, I don’t mind Christian. Of course, then he says that he named their group “Team Star,” cause it’s hot, like celebrities, you know, and the comforting hate returns.

After shopping for fabric, it’s sew-time! Highlights include Ricky consciously speaking Elisaese (“You sculpt the fabric.” “You always want to have your center.”), a gift he picked up from working with pot-smoking modern dance instructors. Elisa, rather than finding this condescending, seems to appreciate someone joining her on her planet. Team Jillian is speaking the language of stress, as she is freaking out over Kevin’s relaxed design pace. Kevin, to his credit, appears to be totally ignoring her.

Day 2. Steven tries to give season 3’s Santino some competition in the hotly contested category of Best Tim Gunn impersonation. “Designers, I am here to tell you that you are all screwed. There is nothing you can do to fix what you are working on. Carry on.” Okay, it’s no “Where’s Andrae?” but, unlike Santino, Steven gets full marks for not being a loathsome narcissist. Steven is becoming the show’s quiet comic relief.

Victorya, who is still not the leader, is micromanaging the other two. Considering that their collection is butt ugly, the only real help she could provide would be some gasoline and a match, but she seems determined to have things her way. After the models come in for a fitting, Victorya so hates her garment that she makes a unilateral decision to change it up and completely ignores any of Ricky’s concerns. Now, I’m with her on the hideousness of the outfit, but this woman is not being a team player. Stop this, Victorya! I’m supposed to hate Christian and like you. Why’d you have to go and complicate things?

Tim-time. He likes Christian’s team and is concerned about Chris’s. Since Tim is always right, I’d be a bit worried for Chris’s safety, except for the horror that is Ricky’s team. Victorya explains to Tim that she would have preferred to “tweak the silhouettes.” Tim calls her on the use of the plural, making Victorya own up to the fact that this was her concept. Much like Ricky, Tim is confused as to who the actual leader is. Though, really, I can’t blame anyone for not wanting to take responsibility for these:

I especially love the way Tim is leaning back, as if attempting to get as far away from the hideousness as he can.

We next get a long scene with Victorya and Ricky having one of those calm talks where you can tell that they both want to claw each others’ eyes out but are going to be very MATURE about it, thank you very much. When Victorya asks why Ricky wanted to be team leader, he somehow refrains from gibbering madly and saying, “Cause you didn’t want it, you crazy woman, and Elisa would have had us grinding salt into the fabric to imbue it with natural essence.” She also accuses him of not living up to his team leader responsibilities, despite ignoring him when he was trying to be a leader. Oh, she is hurting my head.

Jillian’s team is still stressing about Kevin’s shorts, but like everything else with Jillian, it’s not that interesting, so I’ll cut the suspense for you: he finishes them.

Runway day. It’s the usual last minute frenzy, but once again, the main drama is between Ricky and Victorya. Ricky is horrified by the way she is fitting the model’s bodice, as she is deliberately squashing down the poor girl’s boobs to emulate what she thinks is a proper runway look. As a lingerie designer, Ricky is a far more experienced boob wrangler and re-pins the dress so the girls can breathe. Eventually, even Victorya admits that it looks better, though she says this in an interview rather than to Ricky directly. Unlike last week, everyone manages to finish their outfits, so at least no one will be subjected to the horror of a half clad model on the runway.

Show time! Sorry about the slightly haphazard cropping on these photos. I’d say that the third glass of wine was a mistake, but the third glass of wine is never a mistake. It’s the sixth one you’ve got to watch out for.

You know, for three trends from different decades, with little to tie them together, these three came up with an interesting way to combine them. I wouldn’t wear the first two if you paid me, but I can see how they qualify as that elusive “high fashion.” Rami’s dress almost makes me wish the poodle skirt would make a comeback, if only to better hide the effect of all the holiday eating.

Oh, Chris. It’s not awful, but it’s not good. He was given a chance to update 80s-era Joan freakin’ Collins, and came up with this? It’s the sort of thing I’d see on a matronly type at an office Christmas party, and that’s not good. Steven included leggings, which means I have to hate it on principle. More to the point, it is unoriginal and doesn’t match the other two in either silhouette or fabric choice. Sweet P’s dress, however, rocks. I have no idea how it would look on a woman with hips, but I’d like to find out.

Christian’s team produced three solid outfits, though Jack’s loose smock dress does not seem to fit with the two body-conscious designs. Christian’s is a bit dull and Kit’s definitely would not work on a woman with hips, although the built-in leash suggests that one might at least have fun while wearing it. I’m trying to find fringe on these outfits — is the striped fabric supposed to represent that? — but there’s not much to complain about. Nice, safe designs.

And then there is Team Ricky. Oh my. The fabric is wrinkled, the construction is questionable, and the “taste level” is highly debatable. Elisa’s one-shoulder number has the most potential to be a wearable outfit, but at this point it’s all concept, no execution. Victorya’s bustier dress is competent, but considering how certain she was of her idea, competent is not enough to make me forgive her attitude. And Ricky…oh, Ricky. If I can picture the dress transplanted in its entirely to an early 8os music video, something may have gone very, very wrong.

The winner is announced immediately, and it’s Jillian. The win is deserved but does not mean I’m going to start caring about her.

Christian’s group is safe, which was already a given based on how little airtime they got this episode. This means it’s time for the accusations and abuse of the two bottom teams! Let the fun begin! Chris’s team suffers from a range of problems: Steven’s isn’t dancewear, Chris’s hasn’t been modernized, and the jacket’s fabric looks like it came from someone’s sofa. Sweet P’s is universally loved, even by guest judge Donna Karan, so you know she’s safe.

Ricky’s team suffers from poor fit and poor fabric choice (in addition to the aforementioned butt-ugliness). Of course, when given the chance, Victorya condemns Ricky’s leadership ability and Ricky says that Victorya wasn’t a team player, and they both pick the other to go home. Elisa picks herself for no obvious reason other than not wanting to sully her karma by blaming someone else.

In the end, it’s down to the two team leaders for elimination. I was, admittedly, a bit sad at this point, because although it’s an awful lot of fun to mock Ricky, he had actually seemed so sane and balanced this episode. Still, his garment was hideous in at least three different ways, and I can understand the judges’ decision….wait. Chris is going home? Sweet, funny, loveable Chris? Oh, BOO. I guess this is proof that nothing good ever comes of shoulder pads.

So, long, Chris. You’ll be missed, even if that jacket won’t be.

Most shocking twist of the entire episode: Ricky does not cry once. Not a single, overly-dramatic tear. I’m actually a bit disappointed.

Next week: surprise after surprise! Well, so say the promos. Plus, Jack makes an announcement, which hopefully does NOT mean he’s leaving the show. I’ve become a bit attached to that guy.

What did you think? Was Chris’s auf-ing fair, or should Ricky have been punished for his fashion sins? Did your opinion of Victorya take a bruising this episode? And, most importantly, would you have worn any of the final designs?