Pop Vultures

Project Runway, S04 E06: Eye Candy

Previously on Project Runway: Jack left and everyone was sad. Chris came back and everyone was happy. Christian won the challenge and I beat my fists against the wall in impotent rage. Also, Steven went home, but that was three weeks ago now, and I’ve already forgotten about him. Sorry, Steven.

It may be the new year, but that doesn’t mean PR is going to change up their first shot. It is, of course, an interview with someone who is sad that Steven is gone. In this case, Kevin is feeling alone without his roommate. In the other room, Ricky asks how they feel about Steven’s aufing. Tactful Christian answers, “I don’t care.” No one can ever accuse him of being two-faced, at least.

Model swap time! Since it’s been so long since they used their models they might have forgotten their names, the designers all get to choose again. Since he won last time, Christian chooses first, picking Lea. This girl is clearly the favorite of the bunch – everyone grabs her when they get the chance. She is a bit taller and skinnier than the others, if that helps explain her appeal. Most of the designers stick with their models, with only Rami, Ricky and Christian switching. For all that we’ve come to expect a certain amount of cattiness from these people, they can be remarkably loyal to their models.

Heidi tells them that they have to wait till early the next morning to find out their challenge, and she definitely meant early. Tim Gunn, looking fresh as the daisy he is, wakes everyone up bright and early. Kit is traumatized that Tim sees her in her unfashionable pyjamas. Kevin opens the door with a Neanderthal grunt and only one eye open, and reminds me so much of myself pre-coffee that I can’t help it. I like him! I admit it, okay? But I still hate Christian, so everything is right in the world. Sadly, we do not get a shot of his morning hair for me to mock. We do get one shot of Ricky without a hat, and I am shocked to see that he does have a full head of hair, and therefore has NO reason to be wearing a damn hat every single day.

The designers all walk to Times Square, where Tim reveals their next challenge:

They must make an outfit from whatever they can grab from the Hershey’s store. Because it’s a huge franchise, they aren’t limited to just candy – they have pillows, oversized silver wrappers, etc. The designers have 5 minutes to grab whatever they can get their hands on, and I am chagrined to see how many of them are grabbing stuffed bears. That ain’t right! Have these people no souls? Have they not seen Toy Story? You can’t go cutting up a toy bear! Sadly, they ignore me and stuff their bags full of candy, random swag and, yes, sacrificial bears.

Sew-time! Of course, this challenge is much improved by the presence of chocolate and designers on a sugar high, which is especially helpful considering they only have till midnight to complete the outfit. Jillian is the only one using an edible element, with a planned Twizzler bustier. That sounds kind of awesome, actually. It would be the perfect movie-date outfit – kind of sexy, and you also bring your own snack. Sweet P feels guilty about cutting up bears. Damn straight, woman! Rami mocks her, and for a moment I don’t like Rami. Still, it looks like instant karma’s gonna get Sweet P, since she has no clear idea about her project, but the first idea seems to involve broken pottery. Mmm-hmmm.

Christian is working at his usual freakish speed, taking hundreds of mini-Reese’s cup wrappers and sewing them onto brown fabric. Chris is working on a remarkably subdued outfit and seems very comfortable with his decision not to make anything with real food. I think this is the voice of experience, here. Elisa wants to make a fairy tale-esque dress for her daughter, which immediately sets off warning bells. But, just when you think the producers are about to throw another wacky Elisa edit at us, we cut to an interview with her explaining how she was in London to kick off a fashion T-shirt line when she was hit by a Porsche. She had a broken neck, cracked head and was in a coma for five days, and by the time she recovered, the fashion opportunity was gone. Oh, hell. If they’re breaking out the sob story, you know she’s either going to win this one or go home.

Christian is done hours before anyone else and kills the remaining time by harassing the other designers. “The problem with other designers is that they don’t have have a real direction because they think about their things so much.” Well, Christian, no one is going to accuse you of being a deep thinker, so I’m sure you’re fine. Kevin interviews that he will kill Christian and we’ll never see him again. See, I KNEW I liked him.

Sweet P’s dress isn’t looking great, so she makes the risky decision to start over with only a few hours to go. Tim comes in for the walkthrough. He’s confused by Victorya’s, which is some silver ruffled mess, intrigued by Rami’s and concerned about Jillian’s time management and Sweet P’s…well, whatever Sweet P is doing. It’s not quite clear at this point. As always, Tim is dead on.

Runway day. Jillian is panicking because the candy keeps falling off her garment, though her monotone in the interview doesn’t sound any different from when she vows she will win the competition. Besides, I don’t know what she’s worried about. I’d love a dress that dropped candy as I walked. It would be a new way to make friends. Fortunately for her, her model knows how to sew and offers to stitch the Twizzlers to the dress. And I’ve got to say, watching her adorable model sitting on the floor, wearing glasses and a ponytail and sewing candy, was one of the highlights of the show for me.

Sweet P has constructed what appears to be an undergarment, and Chris questions her inconsistent taste level. Chris, I love you, but that is one pitch dark pot calling the kettle black, okay? After the usual model mayhem in hair and makeup, Tim summons the designers to the runway.

And, the outfits!

Ricky goes back to his lingerie roots with a bustier and bubble skirt. Considering that they made these out of candy wrappers, I’m not going to harp on the wearability this week, so let’s just say… well, it’s not in the bottom three. However, Ricky should probably be glad they don’t have a bottom four.

Chris, fortunately, had a very on week for his taste level. It’s certainly the most sophisticated thing we’ve seen from him, and I’m going to completely ignore what I said about Ricky’s dress and praise the wearability of this. I almost want to make one. However, I’d probably buy the candy, eat all the chocolate and forget about the dress, so I’ll stick to writing about television.

Okay, how is it that when they have one day to make outfits out of candy they end up doing better work than when they have two days with fabric? Kit’s outfit is just downright fun. Kicky, really. Perhaps even sassy. I’ve still got her pegged for top four, with Jillian, Rami and (please no) Christian.

The minute I saw this, I knew Elisa was going home. She sure wasn’t going to win this challenge, and the Sob Story/Reality Show equation assured some dramatic climax for Elisa. But, really, how could she NOT go home with a drab brown dress and silver elbow warmers from space? You seem like a genuinely nice, if slightly unusual, woman, Elisa, but no. Just no.

Kevin is just consistently solid, isn’t he? He’s not the most original or the strongest technician, but he keeps making nice clothes that I can see real people wearing. He’s more department store than runway in Paris, but that’s not an insult. I’m not sold on silver and brown as a color combo, though.

Oh, dear. Christian. Well, unlike the last episode, I don’t need to grudgingly admit that he has the best outfit, so I’m thankful for small favors. It is an interesting idea, but the end result looks like something you would wear for some high fashion dumpster diving. It looks like he used bits of trash. Christian, of course, smiles smugly the whole time his model is on the runway.

This is Sweet P’s. I couldn’t get a better screencap and you know what? It’s okay. It’s better that way, in fact. It’s a flat silver bustier and a flat white skirt. She should have stuck with the broken pottery, is all I’m saying.

And then there’s Rami, who just kind of blew me away this week. He’s been so stable, so reliable, so downright predictable, and then he threw this into the mix. This dress, made entirely from paper and plastic, looks more tailored than 90% of the clothes in my closet. It’s creative and interesting and just plain good.

First thing’s first: to my disappointment, the model did not drop candy as she walked like some kind of demented Halloween fairy. It’s remarkably well-fitted for a dress made out of red licorice, though the bustier top did seem to move independently of the model’s boobs. I’m putting this one high on the “Good god, I would never wear that!” scale, but also high on creativity.

I do not remember the last time I watched a PR designer freefall at quite the speed Victorya has. I kind of liked her in the first two episodes, but now I’m just waiting for her aufing. Let’s consider the reasons: 1) Tiered ruffles? Really? 2) Mismatched tiered ruffles? 3) Having her model deliberately walk with her hands at an awkward angle to emphasize how she was an ice princess. Seriously. Perhaps she is hoping to be considered for the “kooky” edit once Elisa is gone, cause that’s the only way she’s getting to Bryant Park.

Rami, Jillian and Chris are in the top 3, and Sweet P, Elisa and Victorya are in the bottom. No surprises there, though Christian looks flabbergasted that he’s not in the top. Ha ha. After the grilling by the judges, Rami is announced the winner and walks off stage to a cute blown kiss from Jillian. So long as she’s not speaking, she almost has a personality. And then, based on all the understood rules of reality show editing, Elisa is given the kiss-auf. She leaves with a remarkable amount of grace and the sort of inner peace you’d expect. Hope you find good things, Elisa. And remember to look both ways, you know?

Next week: they seem to be making an outfit for a specific person we don’t get to see. Also, Ricky cries.