Pop Vultures

Since last week’s Friday 5 looked at the 5 worst TV workplaces, it only seems fair to give the other side its say. Sure, these jobs may be imaginary, but that doesn’t make me any less inclined to consider a major career change. Job satisfaction is much easier to achieve when you only need to change the channel to find it.

5. Men In Trees
The workplace: The Chieftain
Why you want to work there: First of all, it’s a bar, and drunk people are funny. More to the point, it’s the communal living room for the various quirky citizens of Elmo, all of whom are so friendly and welcoming that they make small town life look pretty damn good. The eye candy’s not bad, either. For a town so desperately short on women, the bar contains its share of stylish ladies, and the rugged and oh-so-manly Alaskan males ain’t bad either, if you like that sort of thing. The downside: you will occasionally be forced to listen to Jewel perform.

4. Top Chef
The workplace: The judge’s table
Why you want to work there: Okay, this is an actual job, unlike the other fictional ones, but there was no way I was going to skip it. After all, each week you get to eat gourmet meals prepared by twelve up-and-coming chefs and, apparently, still look like Padma Lakshmi. Where do I sign up?

3. The Office US
The workplace: Dunder Mifflin
Why you want to work there: On the surface, it’s every hellish office job you’ve ever had, overseen by a neurotic, incompetent boss and peopled with annoying co-workers. But there is one fact that raises this above the typical cube-farm job: no one seems to ever work. They don’t have any time, what with the boss-sanctioned fun runs, random parties and constant practical jokes. Make a few phone calls to clients in the morning and you’re set for the whole day, giving you lots of time to try to steal Jim and/or Pam away from the other.

2. Chuck
The workplace:: Buy More
Why you want to work there: Normally, I would never advocate working a retail job. After all, you’d be forced to deal with people on a daily basis, and I’m generally opposed to that. However, the brilliant thing about the Buy More is that you can pretty much avoid the customers altogether. Everyone else does. Even if you’re not holed up in the break room playing Gears of War, you can still organize Nintendo Wii championships on the store floor or master Remote Control-esque challenges on the big screen televisions. With all that important goofing off to do, who has time to work?

1. 30 Rock
The workplace: The Tracy Jordan Show
Why you want to work there: Front row tickets to the Liz Lemon/Jack Donaghy show would be reason enough, but really, it’s all about Kenneth the Page. After all, he’s bound to take over the world one of these days, so it would be smart to get on his good side now.

Do you agree? And given the chance, what TV job would you love to have?