Pop Vultures

Ah, what might have been! With the New Year now in full swing, Fergus sneaks a peek at 5 shows we didn’t get to see in 2007.

5) Operation Runway (Bravo, Reality Show) – These girls have got the looks, the bodies and the moves to make it onto the catwalk, but have they got the tactical skills and coordination necessary to secure a vital airfield held by Taliban sympathisers in South-Western Afghanistan? (Dropped before transmission due to ‘enemy action’.)

TV executives feared ‘another Vietnam’ and withdrew from Helmand Province. (© Bravo TV)

4) They’re Lost (ABC, Drama) – An early draft of the hit show focussed on the families and friends of the missing, featuring many blank stares, hopeless phone calls to the airline and ‘just getting on with life, because sitting around crying isn’t going to help find them’. (Format changed when J.J. Abrams took over from Ingmar Bergman.)

3) Time – T (TV Land, Entertainment) – ‘A’ Team star Mr. T builds on the success of his motivational series ‘Pity The Fool’ by traveling through time to give the great fools of history some of his jibber-jabber-free wisdom. In season one, he’ll talk Archduke Franz Ferdinand out of visiting Sarajevo, get the natives to up the $24 price tag for Manhattan and persuade Decca Records to sign The Beatles. (Idea dropped due to ‘logistical problems’.)

The laws of physics proved too much even for Mr. T! (© TV Land/Nickelodeon)

2) Safe As Houses (BBC/Discovery, Documentary) – Adventurer Steve Houses tells the stories of the men and women whose preparedness helped them totally avoid life-threatening or otherwise perilous encounters with wild animals, armed criminals or sometimes even Mother Nature at her very worst. In episode one, Steve meets Andy Dale, the father of two who filled up his car with gas, checked his tires and brought lots of water before a drive across Australia’s Simpson Desert…and arrived safely at his destination. (Cancelled after host trips over cat in own kitchen and dies.)

1) Amish-on Impossible (NBC, Game show) – Three teams of Pennsylvania Dutch play against each other for the chance to shun a large cash prize. On the way, there they’ll have to make a call on The Telephone, drive clean across the county in The Automobile and face the ultimate challenge in The Button Maze! (Cancelled following religious schism, may return as ‘A Mennonite To Remember’)

Lancaster County Amish cheer on their team in the Monster Buggy Rally (© NBC Worldwide).