Pop Vultures

There are many (many, many) things that America does better than Britain: peanut-butter-based candies, Halloween, breakfast foods, and Target, to name but a few. But you know what? We’ve got you colonials beat when it comes to radio. And, unlike all the other BBC programming I chunter on about, I am delighted to tell you that our radio shows aren’t just available on this poor Target-less tiny island. Oh no, they’re on the Internet and everything. A pair of headphones is all you need to partake; no passport required. Below is my pick of the best that’s on offer:

Book At Bedtime
The clue’s in the name, really. At 10.45 every week night, great works and lesser-known novels are broken up into fifteen-minute installments and read to you, in the soothing tones of a relatively well-known thespian, as you sit in your jammies clutching a mug of cocoa. It’s a deliciously comforting listen, last thing at night, and a lovely way to discover books you might never otherwise have known about. And now, through the magic of Podcasting, you can listen to it whenever your capricious little heart desires. Book at breakfast-time? Book at 2.36 in the afternoon? Ah, technology.

Mark Kermode’s Movie Reviews
I never go and see a movie until I’ve found out what Mark Kermode thinks of it first. The man has impeccable taste and a complete mastery of the art of the put-down. I particularly relish the reviews of the films he’s hated, because he’s almost poetic in his derision, using phrases like, ‘a totally irredeemable pile of stinking celluloid donkey droppings’, or ‘the cinematic equivalent of tertiary syphilis’. He is allowed to criticise because he’s seen practically every movie ever made, and he expertly weaves his knowledge into his reviews, telling you the director’s influences and the genre references so that you can sound like a complete know-it-all when you’re at the cinema later.

Woman’s Hour
Now, bear with me here. I know it sounds like a show about baking and ironing, but it’s not. Woman’s Hour has been on the air since 1946 and the reason for its longevity has nothing to do with tips on how to make the perfect soufflé. The show presents reports, debates and interviews about topics including health, history, culture, politics and current affairs. When you tune in you never know quite what you’re going to get, but you do know it will be intelligent and thought-provoking. The last time I listened to an episode, there were segments on women blacksmiths, dementia care, the political situation in Zimbabwe, and the history of the paisley pattern. Give Woman’s Hour a whirl. You’ll almost certainly discover something fascinating about a topic you never even knew you were interested in.

There are other excellent shows as well, of course, and you can find them all here. A few of the other gems on offer are The Archers, the BBC’s long-running radio soap, which is, I’m told, a certain kind of genius. But I’ve never listened to it so I don’t feel qualified to comment. I am a big fan of I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue, a surreal comedy panel quiz show involving kazoos and nonsensical word games. Whatever your interests, I’m pretty sure you’ll find something amongst the BBC Radio offerings to keep your ears entertained for an hour or so. I firmly believe that, much like cups of tea, moaning about the weather and understanding the rules of cricket (although actually, I don’t understand the rules of cricket), the quality of our radio is part of what makes us British. So come along and partake in my tiny island’s pride and joy.