Pop Vultures

I’m still reeling from the penultimate episode of The Wire and torn between excitement and dread for Sunday’s final installment. Excitement because, of course, it’s the final hour of one of the best goddamn TV shows ever, and dread for pretty much the same reason. The final hour. This is it. No more. It’s all over. Hold me?

Being the final episode ever is cause for sorrow, but it’s also cause to raise a glass and celebrate the five brilliant seasons we were given. While raising that glass, why not play along with the Pop Vultures final episode drinking game? It’s part of a new semi-regular Tuesday feature, inspired by a) my slight obsession with alliterative titles and b) my combined love of television and booze.

I’m starting slowly, though, with lots of sips. No one should be completely hammered while watching this sure-to-be brilliant hour. You ought to get drunk when it’s over.

A character from seasons 1-4 makes a reappearance: Sip

Clay Davis says sheeeee-it: 2 sips.

A police officer breaks a law: Half a sip (gotta pace yourself on this one).

Herc does something a third-grader would consider idiotic: Sip (again, pace yourself. We’ve got an hour to go.)

Bunk or Greggs give McNulty a disgusted look: Again, half a sip. No, maybe a quarter sip. You could get through the better part of a bottle if you’re not careful.

McNulty gets drunk to escape from his pathetic existence: 1 solidarity shot.

Bubbles stays sober the whole episode: Drink a bit of water. Hydration is vital.

Carcetti compromises yet another belief for political reasons: Drink of choice, but make sure you add a splash of bitters.

Scott Templeton gets caught: Forget the drinking. Get up and do a dance of joy.

Someone is fatally shot: 1 sip if it’s someone you don’t like, 2 if it’s someone you do.

Marlo or his crew get out on a technicality: Enough booze to inspire vomiting.

Someone gets a happy ending: Several gulps (I rather doubt you’ll need to pace yourself on this one.)

Feeling tipsy? What rules would you add for the (sob) final  episode of The Wire?