Pop Vultures

Project Runway, S04 E13: Finale Pt. 2

Previously on Project Runway: Rami and Chris had a last minute designer showdown (and oh, how I wish it was held at high noon in the middle of Bloomingdale’s), with Rami’s draping beating out Chris’s gothic wonders. This week: the final designers show and a winner is crowned at last.

The show kicks off with Christian whining about being scared and nervous. Remarkably, he sounds nervous, as well; apparently his ego took the day off to visit a day spa. It had been working hard, you know.

In the workroom, Rami, Christian and Jillian hang their collections and, at this point, they all look pretty strong. Rami is laughing at Christian’s surreptitious study of his garments. Apparently, the Fierce Tiny One looks a bit worried. The fashionable leprechaun confirms this when he actually praises the competition and says that their opinion of his work matters. Is Christian being humble, of all the unexpected emotions? For a moment, I genuinely liked him, and that was when I knew that the obnoxious shrimp was going to win. Curse you, editors, for having me play right into your hands!

Tim reviews Jillian’s collection and likes it as much as he did last week, though he is somewhat puzzled by a sweater with what appear to be furry worms for sleeves. You and me both, Tim. Tim also likes Rami’s, which he has toned down and softened since the last episode. He has also, thankfully, removed the mustard color altogether. Tim has nothing bad to say about the designs. With Christian, he is worried that the collection is overdesigned, which it is, but in a stylish, Christian sort of way.

Amidst much stress-induced joking, the designers go to the model casting. This process seems to involve lots of tall, thin women walking and then being either selected or rejected. They don’t even attempt to make it dramatic. The next day, they settle on a look for makeup and, again, there’s no drama. Isn’t someone going to accuse anyone of cheating? What is a recapper supposed to do with all this professionalism? The models come in for their fittings, and Christian’s stuff seems to look more over-the-top with each new shot. Rami suggests that Christian needs to learn more about making clothes for women, rather than models, and though I am in complete agreement with him, I can also smell an editing misdirection when I see it. Smell it? Moving on. The point is, I am wise to your ways, oh tricksy editors.

Having reviewed her model choices, Jillian has decided that they don’t match properly and tries to switch one out. I feel like there should be a whole rant here about the fashion industry working within a very limited framework in its definition of beauty and the forced subjugation of its models to uniformity, but it’s late and I can’t be bothered. Know, however, that I am thinking about it very loudly. In the end, Jillian can’t change her models, and it’s sad that the producers are so hard up for drama this episode that they focused on this at all, since it never comes up again.

The day before the runway show, everyone sorts out hair for the show and continues to sew and fit. It’s about as exciting as it sounds, really. Tim comes in and gathers everyone into a group hug after praising them for being the most talented final three ever. I do have to agree with him, as I think any of the three collections would have had a shot at winning in previous seasons.

At long last, the designers gather in Bryant Park for their shows and are overwhelmed by the first sight of the runway. In fact, they are so inspired that they gather into another spontaneous group hug. I’m trying to find the snark here, people, but they aren’t giving me much to work with – there’s just too damn much love.

During the final backstage frenzy, Christian’s models are running late and he’s naturally panicking but, again, it comes to nothing. Considering the general flakiness of the models over the past four seasons, I’m thinking that, in season 5, they should just dress some mannequins and wheel them down the runway to a techno soundtrack.

Quick shots of the various PR celebs in the crowd, including Kevin, Jack with Dale from Top Chef (aw!), Laura and Andre from season 3, and season 1 winner Jay McCarroll. We also get shots of Padma Lakshmi, Tyson and Niki Taylor. One might think they were only there to promote their own Bravo shows, if one was so cynical. There are shots of other F-list celebrities that I don’t recognize, but I’m assuming they are there to promote something, as well.

And, at long last, it’s time. Heidi introduces guest judge Victoria Beckham, who actually looks less plastic than usual. It likely helps that her outfit covers up her cantaloupe breasts and her lips appear to be nearing the end of her last collagen injection. And then Jillian comes out, and we’re off!

Jillian kicks things off with exactly the sort of clean, detailed look we’ve come to expect from her. Though I’m still not convinced she’s entirely human, I have become a fan of her designs over the course of the season. She makes tough, feminine clothing, which is exactly what I imagine as the perfect city outfit. The knitwear is awesome, as well, and I’m even coming around on the crazy worm-sleeve sweater.

I am, however, a bit less crazy about her dresses:

On the whole, Jillian makes clothes that people would want to wear — I would, at least – and could wear, right off the runway.

Rami is next. His collection is, of course, thoughtful and carefully designed, with an awful lot of draping.

He does surprise, however, by using some unexpected techniques, including weaving. This one made me exclaim out loud:

His dresses are fairy tale confections, like this lace one (but I’ve got to say – lace is a great idea in theory, but a really smelly one in practice), and his collection is, again, highly wearable. It’s also the sort where you admire the technique and craftsmanship more than the design. Rami’s career will be fine, but he’s not going to win this.

Christian goes last. What on earth could Rami possibly mean, that Christian makes clothes for models, rather than for women?

Still, the collection has a consistent point of view and a strong flair for the dramatic. So strong, in fact, that I wondered how this model stopped herself from walking right off the stage:

Everything is a bit over the top and it occasionally seems like we are being bludgeoned with Christian’s couture vision, but it is undeniably creative and original.

When I remember that I was writing bad poetry at 21, I do have to give him full props for his mad talent, That doesn’t mean I’ve stopped thinking he’s a brat, though. Just for the record.

Jay thinks Rami will win. Kit loved Jillian’s knitwear. Kevin says Christian was off the charts. Padma likes Jillian’s, and Nick Verreos likes Rami and weaving. Clearly, a highly scientific polling strategy.

Back on the Parson’s runway, it’s time for the final judging. Lots of praise for all three designers, combined with just enough criticism to keep us guessing. Christian is, for the first time, tongue-tied and nervous, though hearing that Victoria Beckham loved his stuff helps him regain a bit of his swagger.

After the judges’ chat, Jillian is the first to be dismissed. She cries and hugs her family backstage. After an interminable pause with terribly dramatic music, Christian is announced the winner. Much to my surprise, I’m okay with the choice. I’ll never wear a thing the fashionable twerp makes, but the boy has skillz. Plus, he is so happy and cute after winning, I’ll give him this moment. Just this one.

And that’s it for season 4 of Project Runway. Thanks for reading, through the good (Kit), the bad (poor Jack), and the ridiculous (Ricky’s hats). It was fun.

What on earth am I going to do with my weekends now?