Pop Vultures

I recently tried to explain to a friend why I watch Top Chef, and I had to admit that my reasoning was a bit weak. “Well, you watch a bunch of chefs cook stuff under frequently ridiculous conditions. Then, you watch the judges eat it, and someone gets sent home.” Are you inspired to tune into Bravo this Wednesday? After writing that, I’m not even sure if I’ll be watching the next episode.

I really have no idea why I watch Top Chef. Granted, it’s a talent-based reality show, which I find far more interesting than the social games played on The Bachelor or Big Brother, but the talent is, at best, a tease. We get to hear about the fabulous dishes, and see them plated in all their glory, but we have no idea what they actually taste like. At least on a show like Project Runway, the audience is in on the judging, able to see the same outfit the judges see. Here, we must rely on the rather snooty palates of the four judges and dream of the day that Taste-o-Vision becomes a reality.

Even next to other cooking shows, it doesn’t quite hold up in theory. It’s not a how-to show, since the damn chefs are always moving too quickly to see what they’re doing. It’s not a cookbook accompaniment, a la Nigella Bites, in which everything shown can be replicated at home (except, of course, for Nigella herself, though I’m sure many wish that recipe would become available). And although the food shown tends to be far more inspiring than that of Hell’s Kitchen, it lacks the lessons in creative profanity that make that show enjoyable.

Last season, I was able to overlook the question of why I watched, mainly because I had a big ole crush on CJ (tall, snarky and he can cook? Pack him up and send him over) and I knew exactly why I was watching. This season seems full of cocky and/or angry contestants, none of whom I care about. Since the people don’t inspire me, the shots of food I can’t eat must do the job.

Perhaps it’s enough just to watch the creativity at work, to marvel that anyone, anywhere came up with the idea of white chocolate wasabi. My own palate may be perfectly happy with macaroni & cheese, but it’s still fun to dream of fine dining.

I just wish I could taste it, too.

What about you? Are there any shows that you’re not quite sure why you watch?