Pop Vultures

At the Beach Club, Brandon and Jerry play tennis, and Brandon does something clever that I don’t understand. Jerry asks in disbelief if that was beginner’s luck, and arse-licking Brandon says that Jerry must be a good teacher. “Oh, what I could teach a kid like you,” Jerry says, “it’d be like money in the bank.” Brandon asks what’s stopping him, and Jerry nods thoughtfully and smiles. Off the court, Jerry asks if Jim won’t co-sign a loan or give him an advance for the car he wants. Brandon says they haven’t really talked about it, and Jerry asks what they do discuss. Brandon says woefully that he hasn’t really seen Jim lately, they’re both working too hard. Jerry forcefully says that’s wrong: Brandon’s seventeen years old, and if he can’t take off for a summer vacation now, when is he going to – when he has to work every day to support a family? “Tell it to Jim,” says Brandon disloyally. Jerry says that he doesn’t want to criticise Jim, but you can’t make the kind of connections that you need to make crunching numbers in the Wilshire district. He says that Jim’s a very sincere, hardworking guy, but his head’s still a little in meat-and-potato land. Whatever that means. Jerry asks what kind of car he’s lusting after anyway. Brandon explains that it’s a ’65 Mustang convertible, and Jerry approvingly says he had one of those – whereupon a bikini-clad woman walks past, and Jerry ogles her arse, saying sleazily that he had one of those, too, in another world; now he’s a happily married father. He shouts to Sandy for a drink, and she says she’ll send Jeannie over. Jerry tells Brandon that Sandy is a piece of work, and asks if he has a girlfriend. Brandon ogles Sandy and says he’s working on it.

Brandon smarms around the Beach Club greeting people, and Steve comes up to him, saying that the party fish are running again tonight. Brandon is sceptical, but Steve tells him he’s going to miss the thrill of a lifetime. He walks off, and Brandon approaches Sandy, saying hi. Sandy dismissively says hello, and goodbye, adding that she’s going home. Undaunted, Brandon asks if she lives far, and when she says not far, and he says that’s good, because he rented a limo to take her anywhere she wants to go. “You did what?” Sandy asks. Brandon admits that it’s not exactly a limo, but it worked for Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

Hijinks ensue with Sandy and Brandon on a tandem. Finally, as the sun sets, they sit in a lifeguard tower and Brandon says that living at the beach is definitely the best part of living in LA. Sandy points out that you have to be a multi-zillionaire to live near the water, and Brandon says that’s all right, he plans on making his first zillion by the end of the week, and launches into a fantasy about Cabana Boys R Us, adding that Jerry Rattinger will bankroll the whole operation and put their corporate offices wherever in the world they want: Hawaii, Aspen, Prague. Sandy looks sad and says that at the rate she’s going it’ll probably be Kuwait. Brandon asks if she’s OK, and she says she doesn’t know, but just listening to Brandon talk she realises she’ll never have a beach house or any of the other things she used to dream about when she was his age. My heart bleeds. Sandy says she’s getting older by the minute, and she wishes she’d met Brandon five years ago. Brandon points out that she wouldn’t have liked him five years ago - he was in sixth grade. Sandy laughs and says she’s got to go. They kiss.

Pedalling back on the tandem, Brandon tells Sandy that he’s really glad he took this job now: he’s got the beach, he’s got the sun, he’s got the beautiful chick on the front of his bike. Sandy tells him he’s embarrassing her. They pedal past Dylan, who watches them go, looking concerned.

In the Beach Club changing rooms, Dylan says to Brandon that the other day, when Brandon was talking to Dylan about Sandy, he didn’t tell him he was going to make a move in that direction. Brandon asks if Dylan thinks she’s too old for him, and Dylan says that age is not the issue, but she’s not the right person for Brandon. He’d rather not get into specifics, but Brandon’s got to trust him on this one before he gets in over his head. Aggressive as ever, Brandon asks if this is Dylan’s way of telling him he’s slept with Sandy, and Dylan coolly says it’s his way of telling him to go into this thing with his eyes open, or somebody’s bound to get hurt. Brandon says it’s too bad Dylan didn’t tell Brenda that before he got her to hop into bed with him. Dylan just stares at him, and tells him to consider himself warned. He walks off, and Brandon calls after him that he broke Brenda’s heart. Dylan tells him he thinks Brandon’s got that flipped around, big time.

Outside, Brandon jogs up to Henry, asking if he’s seen Sandy, and Henry says she probably went to pick up her cheque. Brandon thanks him and runs off, bumping almost immediately into Sandy – who looks like she’s been crying, though insensitive Brandon doesn’t seem to notice – and tells her he’s been looking all over for her. Sandy says that she can’t make it tonight, something’s come up, but she’ll make it up to him. As she leaves, Jerry calls across to Brandon, saying that he’s been thinking about Brandon’s new car. “What new car?” asks Brandon.

Chez Walsh. “Jerry Rattinger’s offering to buy you a new what?” Jim asks in astonishment. Brandon explains that he’s not buying him anything, he’s giving him an advance against his salary: this summer he’ll work for Jerry a gofer, but when school starts up again Jerry says Brandon can work in his publicity office as a trainee, tied in with the school paper. Cindy asks what about the Beach Club, and fickle Brandon says that Henry’s got to understand: Jerry’s paying him double his salary, no matter how many hours he works and even on days he doesn’t need him. It’s a win-win deal. Jim asks why Jerry wants to pay him for doing nothing, and Brandon admits that he doesn’t know, but adds that he thinks Jerry feels sorry for Brandon, because he knows there’s no life for a teenager in LA without a car – and even though Jerry has two beautiful little girls, Brandon thinks that deep down inside, he really wants a son. Jim ruefully says he thinks so too, he just didn’t think Jerry would go after his.

Brandon tells Brenda that this morning it hit him like a diamond bullet: Jim doesn’t want Brandon to have a car, any car, because he’s still punishing Brandon for totalling Mondale. I am not even going to get into a discussion about Brandon’s magically disappearing and reappearing car, but ARGH. Brenda points out that Jim stood by Brandon through traffic court. Brandon asks her why Jim’s so down on him for going to work for Jerry, and Brenda says she thinks it’s obvious. Jim doesn’t understand why Jerry is prepared to pay Brandon good money for the summer to do practically nothing…and to be truthful, Brenda agrees. Annoyed, Brandon says she’s as bad as Jim, and Brenda says that if it’s bothering him that much, he should talk to Jim about it. Brandon pauses, and then asks Brenda why she’s wearing a winter coat in the middle of July. She tells him he doesn’t want to know.

Downstairs Brandon says good morning to Cindy, and asks if Jim is in a better mood. Cindy smiles and says she thinks so, but unfortunately he had to leave early for an audit down in San Diego. ”He’s not here?” says Brandon, outraged, and Cindy says no, but he said to tell Brandon that whatever he decides with Jerry is fine with him and he’ll talk to him when he gets home. Brandon bitches that he has the late shift. By the time he gets home, Jim’ll be in bed, adding that this is so typical of Jim: he lays all this guilt on him about not wanting him to work so hard this summer, and he’s too busy working to talk to him about it. Cindy says she knows he’s upset, and Brandon yells that he’s not upset, he just wishes that Jim could find the time to deal with him for once. Again, my heart bleeds for poor, neglected Brandon.

On the tennis court, Jerry says that the last thing he wanted was to get between Brandon and Jim, but it sounded like a perfect fit: Jerry needed someone to run a few errands for him, and Brandon needed a car, but if Jim’s going to get his nose out of joint, the smart thing to do would be forget it. Brandon says he doesn’t want to forget it. Jerry tells him every kid comes to a fork in the road, and no matter which way you go it’s got to be your own decision. Brandon says that Jim did say that whatever he chose would be cool. “A Mustang convertible, right?” says Jerry the Tempter.

Brandon goes up to Sandy and asks if she’s feeling any better today, but she says she’s feeling a lot worse, so he should consider himself warned. He asks if he did something, and she says it’s not about him, it’s about her. Brandon asks if she wants to talk about it. “Talk about what?” Sandy demands, “Why there isn’t enough time in the day, why there isn’t enough money in the bank, why my head is pounding?” She tells him he’s a very sweet boy, but she’s going through some very heavy personal stuff right now and she’s just not about to pour her heart out to a teenager from Beverly Hills.

Chez Walsh. In the living room, Brenda is striding about wearing Cindy’s winter coat, wailing for her mommy, when Jim walks in and asks what she’s doing. Brenda collapses on the couch, and moans that she doesn’t know. She’s crying out of control and still can’t get in touch with her emotions. Jim asks if she’s still working on that day that she was lost at Dayton’s and she nods. He sits beside her and puts his arm around her, saying that it was some scary day, and Brenda tetchily says she knows: Cindy went to the linen department, Jim went upstairs to the sporting goods, and Brenda was supposed to stay with Brandon, but she decided to start riding up and down the escalators and that’s when she got into trouble. Why the hell couldn’t one of them take the twins with them? I always knew the Walshes were bad parents. Smiling, Jim says that Brenda was so cute. Brenda reminds him that he and Cindy always told her that she was hysterical, but Jim says that that was after she got lost. When she was playing on the escalators she was having the time of her life.

Beach Club. Steve ogles passing women and points one out to Brandon. Brandon, evidently disturbed by Steve’s paedo tendencies, asks how young she is: fourteen? Fifteen? Steve says she’s young, but she’s very mature for her age, and he hasn’t made a move on her yet. He asks about Brandon and Sandy, and Brandon says their relationship is kind of like the grunion: nobody knows if it really exists. Henry approaches and tells Brandon that Jerry needs some extra manpower out in the parking lot, and he and Steve go to help out.

In the parking lot, Brandon greets Jerry, saying that he brought along his partner in crime in case it was a two-man job. Jerry says he thinks Brandon will be able to handle it himself. The three of them walk over to a fancy car, and Steve admires it, asking if it’s new. Jerry says yes, and clueless Brandon asks if Jerry needs him to carry something up for him. Jerry says he needs Brandon to get behind the wheel and see if this is something that he wouldn’t mind driving for the rest of the summer. Brandon and Steve look gobsmacked, and Jerry reminds Brandon that he said he needed a car. Brandon says yeah, but a used Mustang, not a… He gestures at the car, and Jerry says that they can probably still get him his Mustang, but this way the corporation can lease this car and Jerry can deduct the interest. He tells Brandon to take it for a spin up the coast, see how it handles. He walks off and then looks down at what appears to be a message. “Damiit,” he says. Brandon asks if there’s anything wrong, and Jerry says he hates to ask him to do this, but Mrs Rattinger had a little too much sun with her wine this afternoon and she’ll need a lift back into town. Normally he’d do it himself, but he has to stay here and tie up a couple of loose ends, i.e. pressure Sandy into having sexual relations with him. He doesn’t actually say that last part.