Pop Vultures

Chez Walsh, the next morning, Brenda tells Brandon that Robbie called while he was in the shower, and his mom’s going to take him to school today. She adds that everybody really liked Charise and asks Brandon if he thinks Charise liked them. Brandon says that she even liked Steve – it’s Brandon she didn’t like. Brenda asks snarkily if she wouldn’t let Brandon kiss her goodnight, and Brandon says he thinks she has a boyfriend. As they walk into the kitchen, Cindy is on the phone, asking when the police left, and if anyone else was injured. Sotto voce, Jim tells the twins that Cindy’s speaking to Mrs Cooper, so he doesn’t know how viable any of this is, but apparently there was a prowler outside the Ashe home last night. Huh, no one seems to use the word “prowler” any more; has it been superseded by “stalker”? Jim adds that it turned out to be a friend of the daughter’s, the crazy one with the sports car. Brandon says he knows who she is, he took her out last night. “You did?” asks Jim. Brandon asks if there’s a problem with that, but Jim cunningly hides his racism and says that he’s just surprised because two days ago Brandon was ready to drag her into court. Jim crossly says that the Security Patrol was called and all hell broke loose. Cindy puts her hand over the phone and adds that this is a real mess.

Brandon rings the Ashe doorbell and Robbie answers warily, asking if Brenda didn’t tell Brandon that Robbie’s mom’s taking him to school today. Brandon says yeah, but they just heard what happened with the Security Patrol. “Oh, well, that,” says Robbie dismissively, adding that it’s not a big thing. Brandon, unstoppable as ever, says that his mom didn’t know all the details, but didn’t the cops come? Robbie explains that he really doesn’t know, he was sleeping mostly, and Brandon suspiciously says that he must be a pretty heavy sleeper. Robbie goes to close the door, and Brandon asks him how Charise is. Robbie says he guesses she’s doing OK – and he’s really got to go, he’ll catch Brandon later. He shuts the door, and Brandon looks puzzled that his dogged interrogation didn’t go down better. Perhaps he should bring a flashlight next time to shine in Robbie’s face.

Inside, Robinson Senior furiously tells Charise that there are rules in this house and she broke them all: how many times have they specifically told her to stop seeing Devo Damars? Charise quite reasonably points out that she wasn’t even there when it happened, and Senior asks what she’s trying to sell him, that this was some random coincidence, that this no-class bum gets himself into a fight with the police in front of their house while she’s off gallivanting? “Gallivanting” is such an awesome word; I hope he says “shenanigans” next. Charise angrily says they went off to get a hamburger, and Felicity adds that he’d like Brandon. Senior says yeah, maybe he would, but what he doesn’t like is being lied to. Charise, frustrated, asks what she’s supposed to do: he sets the rules, tells her she can’t go out with this one, she can’t go out with that one – black, white, it doesn’t make a difference, no one’s ever good enough for Senior. Senior tells her that’s enough out of her smart mouth. He asks what the neighbours are going to say. He and Felicity didn’t work all these years to buy a house in Beverly Hills so that they would be put under a microscope. Softening slightly, he tells Charise that if he’s hard on her it’s because he loves her, and Felicity adds she’s sure it will all blow over soon.

At school, Brandon approaches Steve and Kelly and cheerfully asks what’s happening. In meaningful tones, Kelly asks why Brandon doesn’t tell them, and Steve adds they were just wondering what happened last night. Brandon says he wishes he knew: the PR guy at the police department’s been giving him the run-around all morning. “What are you talking about?” demands Kelly. She explains that she was talking about Charise, and Steve adds they were just wondering if there was any “jungle fever” happening. Whoa. Brandon fails to call Steve on this appallingly racist remark, and merely tells Kelly and Steve that they really ought to consider getting back together again.

In the newsroom, Andrea tells Brandon that she knows he’s a guy with a mission, but she can’t put the paper to bed without a sports page. Brandon apologises, and explains that the police won’t release any details because it turns out the guy wasn’t actually arrested. “If he wasn’t arrested, then what’s the story?” Andrea asks cluelessly, and Brandon explains that the story is that a young black guy gets detained and harassed on a public street for no apparent reason other than the colour of his skin, and nobody wants to talk about it. Andrea asks him if he’s saying there’s a cover up going on, and Brandon says that all he’s saying is that some of these private security guards are like loose cannons, and who are they accountable to, anyway? Andrea says she thinks he’d better talk to the guy they stopped.

Brandon runs up to Robbie, who is snapping pictures, and says he’s been looking all over for him: does he know Charise’s friend, the one who got hassled? Robbie clearly doesn’t want to talk about it, but grudgingly says yeah, and Brandon asks what his name is. Robbie says he thought they were going to forget about all that, and Brandon, with all the pomposity a white, middle-class teenage boy can muster, asks if they’re going to pretend nothing happened. Robbie says it sounds like a plan to him, but Brandon says he needs to interview this guy, and he’d like it if Robbie could tell him how to get in touch with him. “Come on, why’ve you got to make everything worse than it is?” yells Robbie, turning on Brandon. He tells him that his parents are steamed up enough, and Brandon says that this isn’t about Robbie’s parents: this is about breaking a news story, and if Robbie wants to be their new staff photographer Brandon suggests he find a way to help Brandon out there. Oh, nice. Robbie angrily suggests that Brandon find a new staff photographer. He goes to walk off, and when Brandon asks what his problem is, Robbie yells that his problem is Brandon. He’s a user, and Robbie’s sick of it – he blatantly used him to get to his sister. Brandon, affronted, says that’s not true, and Robbie says that it is. Brandon uses very opportunity he can find to make Robbie painfully aware that when Brandon looks at Robbie he doesn’t see the new kid on the block, he sees the new black kid on the block, and in Robbie’s eyes that doesn’t make Brandon a whole hell of a lot different than those dudes on the Security Patrol.

In the car on the way home, Brandon rants to Brenda that Robbie practically called him a racist, and he did call him a user. “It’s bogus, man, it’s pure BS.” Brenda is silent, and Brandon stroppily asks if she thinks he uses people, or is a racist? Brenda says no, of course not…but if Brandon didn’t think there was a kernel of truth to what Robbie was saying he probably wouldn’t be so angry.

As Charise pulls into the Ashe driveway, Brandon approaches and asks if she’s got a minute, and she coldly asks if this is off the record or on the record. Brandon sighs and says he guesses Robbie told her about the article, and she says he told her the moment she got home last night, right after he told her Devo got busted. Brandon says he’s sorry, he should’ve told her, and she says yeah, he should, but she should’ve known better than to go out with a boy from Beverly Hills. He tells her that when he asked her out he didn’t ask her out as a reporter, he asked her out as a friend, or at least someone who wanted to become her friend, but Charise says that if Brandon truly wants to be her friend he should get out of there before her papa grounds her for another month. As she goes to the door, the Walsh alarm goes off in the distance. “That damn alarm,” says Brandon, and Charise tells him he’d better rush home and call the Security Patrol: for all he knows, a Negro might be breaking into his house. Oooh, burn! “OK, OK, fine,” Brandon snaps, with his customary lack of grace, “You win, I’m the bad guy. I’m the biggest bastard in the history of Beverly Hills, all right?” Brandon says that Charise can say or think anything she wants about him, but what happened to her friend Devo on this street last night was wrong. He tells her that he wants to write a story about it, and he needs her to tell him how he can get in touch with Devo. Wait, how did Brandon find out Devo’s name? I am suspicious. Charise looks uncertain for a moment, and then gently tells Brandon to go home.

Chez Walsh, the alarm blares as Cindy yells down the phone to Mrs Cooper that there’s no need to call the Security Patrol because they’re already there, trying to locate what keeps setting the alarm off. Brandon stomps in and petulantly tells Cindy that if she and Jim don’t disconnect the alarm, he will. In the hall, Watch Guy from the first scene fiddles with the keypad, and Brenda tells Brandon that the irony of all this is that Charise’s friend probably wouldn’t have even been hassled if the Security Patrol hadn’t come there to answer the Walshes’ false alarm. I think that’s only irony in the Alanis Morissette sense. The alarm stops, and Watch Guy says that it’s about time, adding to Brandon that this kind of thing never happens: Brandon and his family have all been very patient, and if there’s anything he can do for them… A lightbulb goes on over Brandon’s head and he says that maybe there is something: he asks if the Security Patrol fill out a report when they detain someone, and the guy says sure. If the Security Patrol are prepared to give incident reports to any seventeen-year-old who asks for them, they truly are beyond incompetent.

In the hall, Brenda asks Brandon where he’s going so fast. “Tamale Heaven,” he says. Brenda asks where it is, and he evasively says that it’s south, somewhere between Watts and the airport, he thinks. She asks why he’s going there, and he reluctantly explains that that’s where Charise’s boyfriend works, and he wants to get an interview with him. Brenda says that this is going to sound beat, but asks if it’s safe to go there by himself. Macho Brandon says they’ll see.

South Central! I assume. Rap-lite plays as Brandon drives through the Mean Streets. He pulls up by Tamale Heaven and three young black guys come out of the store, looking threatening. Brandon is standing in front of his open-topped, seemingly-unlockable and totally unsafe car when Devo comes out the back of the store and tosses some bin bags into the dumpster. Clocking what’s going on, he advances on the three guys, asking them what they are trying to accomplish: didn’t Ramon warn them all about “mashing headgear” around there? Their posse knows what’s up, and if they keep this up they’re going to get busted. I have no idea what any of this means. The guys are impassive as Devo tells them that if they’re packing or carrying he strongly suggests they step off before the Man gets there. A police car sounds in the distance. The guys grudgingly slope off, and Devo looks at Brandon and tells him that if he’s looking to score he “strongly suggests” he go back to his side of the hill. There’s a lot of strongly suggesting going on in this episode.

Devo goes back inside and Brandon, and his sense of white middle-class entitlement, follow. In the kitchen, he tells Devo that he’s not a doper, he’s a friend of Charise’s. Devo stares at him, and Brandon concedes he’s more like a neighbour. He asks if he’s Devo Damars, and Devo asks who wants to know. Brandon introduces himself, saying he’s a reporter on his school newspaper at West Beverly High, and he lives down the block from Charise. He tells Devo that he knows what went down last night and he wants an interview with him. “With all due respect,” Devo roars, with a complete lack of respect, “you don’t have a damn idea about what went down last night.” Brandon points to a nigh on invisible cut on Devo’s face, which I totally didn’t notice until Brandon pointed it out, and asks if the Security Patrol did that to him. Devo sarcastically says no, his mom accidentally rolled over him in her Rolls Royce. “Seriously, man,” says Brandon, “did the Security Patrol jack you up, or was it the city cops?” “Did you just say ‘jack you up’?” Devo mocks, “you’ve been reading your Spike Lee handbook, haven’t you?” Ha. Brandon angrily asks if Devo can drop the attitude long enough to tell him exactly what happened, and Devo, completely reasonably, asks why he should. Brandon says it’s an important story, and Devo asks what is: being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or being in the wrong place at the wrong time and the wrong colour? He asks Brandon if he thinks for a minute that it would’ve been any different for Brandon out there if Devo hadn’t chased those guys off. Brandon says it’s not the same thing, but Devo says it is. He tells Brandon to wake up: they don’t roll out welcome mats for Devo’s kind in Beverly Hills, and Brandon shouldn’t feel free to roam around these alleyways, either. Brandon says that doesn’t make it right, and Devo says of course it doesn’t make it right: it makes it the kind of world that they live in today. He says that he heard this guy on the radio, talking about that Rodney King incident, and the amazing thing wasn’t what happened, because that happens every day down here – the amazing thing was the whole thing got peeped out by someone’s home video camera. He calls Brandon “blondie,” which cracks me up.

Brandon follows Devo back out to the dumpster and asks what Devo’s saying, that they should let bygones be bygones? He tells Devo to look him in the eye and tell him this doesn’t make him angry. Devo says it makes him angry, all right, but more important, it makes him sad. He tells “blondie” he’s got a story for him: Devo’s mother, who means the world to him, had to go out and beg for money in the middle of the night to pay for a taxi to bring her into Beverly Hills. Devo shakes his head and says that he will never forget the expression on her face when she rolled into that emergency room. Emergency room? For that tiny cut? Devo tells Brandon that his mom has four boys. Two of them are in prison, one’s on the pipe and then there’s Devo, the one his mom never had to worry about. He says that all he does is try to please her and make her proud.

A camera shutter clicks, framing both Devo and Brandon’s faces, and a voice calls Brandon’s name. He looks over and there stand Brenda and Charise. Charise runs over to Devo, and Brandon asks Brenda what she’s doing there. She explains that after Brandon left, Robbie just happened to be walking by, so here they are. “Kind of beat, huh?” she says, but Brandon says no, it’s kind of nice. Charise and Devo embrace, and she asks if he’s all right. Devo laughs and tells her that it’s just a minor setback, and Charise tells him they’ve got to talk.

Robbie comes up to Brandon and says he guesses this means Brandon’s going through with his big exposé, but Brandon says he doesn’t know anymore. Robbie thinks Brandon should put it out there, and if he does, there are some pictures that his trusty staff photographer’s been taking that he should look at. Brandon looks momentarily doubtful, and then nods and says he’d like that. Brenda asks if they know what she’d like. Cut to Brenda taking bad photos of Robbie and Brandon clutching tamales, which evidently have magical power to smooth over racial tensions. I worked for ten months at an anti-racist charity and they never mentioned that.

Chez Walsh, the gang – including Robbie – sits around. Dylan looks up from what he’s been reading, and asks Andrea and Brandon if they know how good their paper looks this week. Andrea says they know, but he can tell them again, and Brenda tells Brandon that his article is really great. “Wait, especially the pictures?” says Robbie, and Brenda smiles and concedes. Dylan reads aloud: ”it’s when we stop looking at the human race as individuals we, as a generation, are in trouble.” “Eloquently put,” he tells Brandon, thought it sounds like Thatcherite claptrap to me.

The doorbell rings, and Cindy answers. It’s Mrs Cooper, who says she got Cindy’s note, and needless to say, she is very disappointed. Cindy says she can’t talk right now, she’s got company, but, “To impulsively just cancel your contract with our Security Patrol because of one questionable incident…” says Mrs Cooper disapprovingly. Cindy firmly tells her that she doesn’t mean to be rude, but what this family does and why they do it is really no concern of hers. Mrs Cooper looks affronted, and Cindy, smiling, adds that she met Mr Caplan, and she likes his dogs. She says goodbye and closes the door, going back to the kitchen where Jim’s sat with Felicity and Senior, talking baseball and eating popcorn.

Charise drives along the street and Brandon pulls up beside her, going the other way. He asks where she’s going, and when she says Tamale Heaven, he says that he thought that place was off-limits. Charise says not anymore: ever since Brandon did his article on Devo, her dad’s been rediscovering his roots. It’s amazing what an article by a seventeen-year-old white guy in a school newspaper can do, huh? Brandon says he’s glad to help, and asks what she thinks of the article. She says she thinks her brother’s an excellent photographer. They both laugh, and Brandon calls her brutal. She tells him to drive safely, and he says he thought that was supposed to be his line. They smile at each other, and a shutter clicks, as Robbie magically snaps them from both sides of the street simultaneously. It’s a lucky thing Brandon will have these photos to help remember Robbie and Charise, since we’re certain to never see them again.

Next week: Dylan’s mother comes to town, causing him to succumb to the temptations of the Evil Booze once more. Also, Donna plays the stock market.