Pop Vultures

Project Runway, S05 E07: Fashion That Drives You

Last week on Project Runway, Daniel failed to embrace the dragtastic nature of the challenge and was sent home, where he is surely making a high end cocktail dress at this very moment. This week, the designers face a dreaded “innovation” challenge (read: thinly veiled product placement) when they are asked to design outfits from car parts.

Korto’s streak is over at last, as this week’s introductory interview comes from Kenley, who is sad Daniel is gone because he was her best friend on the show. I’m sure that, as soon as he is saw the episode when Kenley mocked his taste, that friendship was pretty much over, so I’m not too invested in this moment.

Keith begins the episode-long theme of Keith’s Gigantic Breakdown by saying that he doesn’t know how to handle being in the bottom two. Because, you see, he is a special little snowflake who does not know how to deal with rejection and should never have the same experience of Bottom Twodom that Leanne and Stella faced and, you know, DEALT WITH.

Model swap. Guess what? Nothing happens. Never saw that one coming, did you?

The designers are told to meet Tim on the roof of a building, which somehow leads Blayne to think that they’re going to some exclusive rooftop party where they will have to design for a superstar. Before I can even warm up my Blayne-making-fun muscles, Korto half-jokes that they’re going to Mariah’s. First, no, Korto! Never agree with Blayne, even in jest! Second, has there ever been a season of Project Runway where the designers don’t speculate that they’ll be dressing Mariah? I mean, I know she needs the help, but let the dream die, people.

On a Manhattan rooftop, the designers find Tim, a guest, and a whole bunch of Product Placed cars. The guest is the lead color designer for the car company. That is such a specific job, and I can’t believe there are assistant or junior color designers to justify the full title. He is also wearing this shirt, in case you were wondering:

This weeks challenge is to use various parts from the Product Placed cars to create an outfit. It would feel much more original, I’m sure, if Project Runway Australia hasn’t just done the same challenge and left all the swearing in. The designers, of course, all put on their best “WTF?” faces, of which this is the winning entry:

Tim tells them that this, like the first challenge, is all about innovation, and helpfully reminds them that they all sucked in that first challenge and might want to redeem themselves this week.

They have five minutes to grab all the material they can use out of the cars and place it in a cart. Most designers go straight for the seatbelts, which is apparently the new tablecloth. Kenley complains that the only things available are things cars are made out of. Not so quick, that Kenley. Joe mentions that he’s from Detroit, so this challenge is right up his alley. Living in the city that makes cars made him better prepared to design an outfit from car parts? That’s like saying that, since I lived in Seattle, I’m more capable of building a house from discarded latte cups.

Everyone wheels their carts full of seat belts and floor mats into the workroom. Tim informs them that they have one day to complete their outfit and the winner gets immunity.

Sew time. Everyone stares blankly at the pile of crap and tries to figure out what to do. Kenley chucks a headlamp to the floor and is happy when it breaks into more useable parts. The sound of hammering and breaking glass fills the workroom. It’s like ten Stellas, all beating things up at once.

Keith’s Gigantic Breakdown continues as he interviews that he has to please the judges or they’re going to send him home. It only took seven episodes, but it sounds like he finally figured out how the show works. He is very grumpy about presenting outfits that “stand out so much” and having the judges be critical. Keith, you see, is a misunderstood genius. Just ask him. He is determined to show them by producing something more tailored and toned down. Also, since it will continue all episode, I’m shortening the breakdown to KGB, despite the fact that it has no connection at all to Russian intelligence.

Stella doesn’t want to make a leather dress, despite the presence of leather car seats, because she’s done that and wants to surprise the judges by making something pretty. Suede, surrounded by car parts, finds this the perfect opportunity to explain how wackadoodle everything is. I vote for wackadoodle to be this season’s catch phrase. It’s far more fun to say than “fierce.”

Suede was clearly asked by the producers to share his favorite car story, as it’s the only explanation for his random interview segment about his Dad’s Buick Electra. This leads to his mentioning that his father passed away in ‘99, which makes it two weeks in a row that Suede gets to play the dead relative card. Suede haters can take comfort in the fact that he’s highly unlikely to make the top three if they’re giving us all this personal stuff before the family visit episodes.

The KGB takes a worrying turn when Keith says that he is more worried about what the judges will think than what he’s going to design. He does not seem to realize that there is a direct connection between the two things.

Korto is weaving together seatbelts and it looks promising. Kenley is drawing a zebra print on air filters with a Sharpie, which actually looks far better than it sounds. The fact that she’s drawing them on a pleated, flared skirt/belt? Not so good. Leanne appears to be creating a dress for a sci-fi dominatrix to wear to a cocktail party. At least it fits the “innovative” part of the brief.

KGB, part 4: Terri asks Keith his opinion of her work. His snide response?  “I would not trust my taste. It’s ‘questionable.’” Yes, you can totally hear the air quotes in his voice.

Tim comes in to inform Kenley that her model has dropped out and she has been assigned one of the eliminated models. She takes this about as well as you’d expect, if you expected her to act like a gigantic drama queen. Fitting her new model, she says that she is “completely flat and boxy,” unlike her narrow and curvy former model. What woman doesn’t dream of being described as boxy on national television?

During Tim’s walkthrough, he wants to know how Blayne’s dress will fit, how Korto will make the weaved coat sophisticated, and how Stella will be more innovative. He drools over Leanne’s design, so we know she’s good. When he hits Keith, he listens to the same nonsense Keith’s been spewing all episode, including a reference to how he must show the judges that he has a refined palate. Because, apparently, he’s campaigning to appear on Top Chef when he’s inevitably bounced from this show.

After Tim leaves, Terri makes fun of Korto’s stiff coat, comparing it to a scarecrow and the baddie from Jeepers Creepers. She finds herself funny enough that she is, quite literally, rolling on the floor laughing. Jerell is less amused and interviews that Terri belittles people and is two-faced. “Count ‘em, two of ‘em. She’s got two faces and four patterns. That’s it. Don’t trust the bitch.” Words cannot express the perfection of his delivery. And you know, he might have a point. Those four patterns might be good, but we are seeing a lot of the same thing from her, space age Japanese drag queens notwithstanding.

KGB part I’ve lost count: getting up from his sewing machine, Keith tells the room, “If anyone gets on here, please just don’t fuck it up.” The general consensus among the designers is that the man is angry and has developed a bit of an attitude. The man himself does nothing to contradict that opinion when he interviews that, “At times I feel like I want this more than anybody else. I’m here to win, and everyone feels like they are here to win. I just feel like I deserve it more than others.”

On that note of delusion, the day comes to a close. Before the designers sleep, Stella is shown talking on a Product Placed phone to her boyfriend, the charmingly named Ratbones. I’m not sure if that’s meant to be intimidating or not. I mean, it’s not exactly Lionbones or Grizzlybones, is it?

Runway day. The designers all dress their models, and Keith tells his that she can’t sit down in the skirt, apparently expecting her to stand up through all of hair and makeup. When she returns later with a tear in her skirt, explaining that they made her sit down, he blames her, basically calling her a stupid model. Of course he does. Obviously, Keith is never, ever at fault.

On the runway, we have two – count ‘em, two! – guest judges. Season 3’s Laura Bennett is filling in for Nina Garcia, which almost makes up for the third chair, occupied by Rachel Zoe, who has her own new show on Bravo. I’m sure that’s just a coincidence, though.

There’s a lot to love about Jerell’s outfit. First, it’s much, much better than last week’s. Also, it’s got buttloads of attitude. Most of all, he created a bustier out of freaking car parts that fits better than most of the fabric outfits churned out on this show. I still don’t think he’s going to Bryant Park, but I’m rooting for him, anyway.

After all his angst, Keith made…a beige skirt and a v-neck halter top. If it wasn’t made of car parts, I could find this in any Banana Republic. Except, in that case, it would be well made and not come with an overdeveloped sense of entitlement. Also, it wouldn’t have this back:

This gets my oy for the week, hands down.

Terri made another smart outfit, though the pants are clearly one of Jerell’s four patterns. The top is a far better use of the netting than we’ve seen so far, and the overall effect is rock & roll by way of the auto shop. Even so, there’s something about it that feels a wee bit trashy. Now, I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, necessarily, but it’s still there.

I do not understand this outfit. Even overlooking the fact that Kenley’s model was unable to walk for fear of tearing the garment and ended up mincing down the runway, this just does not work for me. The skirt and the top are straight-forward enough, but the inclusion of the zebra print…thing utterly baffles me. It like someone strapped an upside down cupcake holder to her waist.

Okay, I’m not a big fan of the hip thing, since I like my clothes to actually be wearable, but it’s definitely a bit avant garde and that elusive high fashion that the judges love so. And the rest of it is just excellent. The fringed seatbealts are brilliant, the finishing is great, and the details in the construction of the leather are interesting and unexpected. Leanne definitely continues to rise up the ranks.

Suede’s specialty is clearly making fun, youthful dresses, and he’s done it again. I think the top is adorable, and though I would never in my life wear a silver fringed skirt, this almost makes me I could. It’s a perfect outfit for a club night, with the added benefit of being able to check your makeup in the reflection in your skirt.

Korto is pretty damn good, isn’t she? I really want one of these, just not made of seatbelts. I would like to be able to lower my arms at some point, after all. Stiff arms aside, this is gorgeous. I’m beginning to wonder if we’re going to have three women going to the finals.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Blayne didn’t actually annoy me this episode. Fortunately, his outfit still sucks, so it’s not like the world has been turned on its head just yet. The basic idea isn’t terrible, but it doesn’t actually fit the model, the fringe goes on way too long, and the random placement of the broken mirror doesn’t add anything to the design. Okay, the basic idea is pretty bad.

Joe continues his run of clean and slightly predictable designs. It’s not that he really does anything wrong – he is consistently tasteful and his garments well-constructed – but the only time his outfits have excited me was when he made a pink glitter sailor suit. He’s a safe designer, and it would be a shame if he made it to Bryant Park.

For all that Stella spoke about stepping outside her box, the top looks like every other Stella vest we’ve seen. The skirt, on the other hand, is unexpected, but mostly because it doesn’t match the damn vest. Top half: badass rocker dude. Bottom half: classy broad. While I know there are classy rocker dudes, it’s not something I’ve ever seen reflected in their outfits.

After the judges score, Jerell, Korto and Leanne are in the top, and Blayne, Keith and Stella are in the bottom. I’m just going to skip all the compliments and criticism and get right to the final section of Keith’s Giant Breakdown. When Laura complains that there’s no concept behind the outfit, he tells her, “You should see my other stuff.” Keith, I really don’t think bringing up the molting bird is going to help you. And then the idiot does not shut up. “I felt like when I took it to an extreme in the last challenge, that there wasn’t as much appreciation as I like, being a kind of edgy designer.” Michael is so done with him.

The judges chat, which is a rather pointless exercise as it’s entirely clear who needs to go home. Let’s just cut to it. Leanne wins, and does a cute little dance. Keith goes home, and I do a victory dance of my own. He cries, and even knowing that all his delusions likely stem from a crippling lack of confidence, I really can’t bring myself to care.

Next week: the designers must work for Diane von Furstenberg. I wonder if we’re going to see nine different wrap dresses?