Pop Vultures

Now that we’ve all recovered from the powerful case of apathy brought on by the new fall shows, it’s time to check in with a few returning ones. After all, there’ve got to be some shows worth getting excited about, right? Now that I’m currently taking a long break from teaching, I’m starting to feel the itch to judge something based on entirely random criteria — it’s time to grade the returning shows!

For the next few weeks, or until I have have reviewed each show and/or grown tired of this exercise, I’ll be evaluating the returning show based on how they measure up to previous seasons, how the returning characters are faring, how interesting the new characters are, and whether the new stories show promise. Up first: Heroes.

1. Compared to the previous season. Heroes was a well-documented disaster in its second season, so I think it’s fair to say that expectations were rather low going into its third season premiere. Most people were likely just hoping not to be bored anymore. And, if we use last season as a barometer for quality, I can happily say that this season is extremely well-executed and quite entertaining. Of course, that’s rather like saying that, compared to American Pie: Band Camp, American Wedding is a marvel of complex characterizations. The bar ain’t set that high, is all I’m saying.

Three episodes into this season, and the best I can say is that the show isn’t nearly as boring as it was last year. I haven’t found myself nodding off once (though I do tend to leave the room during Parkman’s storyline, which is the only way to deal with that particular plot). We haven’t been force-fed any painfully dull new characters. No one has been killed, only to be brought back to life with unsatisfying ease. In that way, it’s much, much better.  Mark: C+

2. Returning characters. Fortunately, the writers are helped quite a bit by some of the cast. The strongest and most charismatic actors on the show still do a good job, and during their scenes everything seems to be back on track. The minute Jack Coleman and his morally flexible Noah Bennet are on screen, I absolutely love the show. Adrian Pasdar’s Nathan may be redefined by the writers every other week, but the actor still brings consistency and depth to the character. I’m not quite sure why they decided to bring back Ali Larter, though. Can’t anyone just stay dead on this show? Mark: B-

3. New characters. The show’s new characters are a mixed bag. Hiro’s brand new nemesis was clearly meant to be “sassy and clever” but somehow translates as “annoying and pointless.” On the other hand, the new villain Knox shows tremendous promise — mainly because he’s played by Jamie Hector, who kicked ass as Marlo in The Wire. On the plus side, there is no one that even approaches the annoyance factor of last year’s Emo Wonder Twins. Mark: C

4. Current plots. The show was at its best in season one when it allowed the characters to interact and their stories to intersect. After all, if we like Claire and we like Peter, won’t we like the scenes with both of them even more? Why, yes, we will! Season two fractured the group that season one had so carefully built, sticking each character in their own story with someone new — and someone that we didn’t like at all, whether it was an Irish barmaid or a horny teenage boy. It plain didn’t work.

Although this season is trying to get back a bit more to what made the first season successful, by incorporating more of what Tim Kring calls the “primal questions” and relying on more archetypal characters, it’s still keeping the characters separated in their own stories, with little clear overlap between them. Because there is no obvious link between the stories, the end result is that the viewer is only invested in the show during the handful of plots that interest them, and feels free to ignore the others. The show gives them no reason to view each scene as equally important.

Plus, this season we have the “Spirit Walk” segment. Note to all writers, everywhere: spirit walks and dream journeys and anything in which white westerners decide to co-opt alternate belief systems in order to give their plots some sense of authentic primal spirituality NEVER work. Don’t do them. Truly, I wish I’d been present in the writers’ room when the Parkman “spirit walk” storyline was pitched. “Yeah, okay, here’s what’ll happen. He’ll be teleported to Africa for no reason that we’ll bother to explain. But it won’t be dull like Hiro’s whole Japanese plot, because we won’t get him involved in any feudal wars or introduce him to super-hot David Anders or anything silly like that. No, he’s gonna meet a magical man. A black man! A magical black man! No one’s ever seen that before. And then Parkman will WALK, and he’ll whine a bit about what he’s doing there. It’s just what we need to get the show back on track!” It’s things like this that cause me to lack faith in the writers. Mark: D

For the moment, there are just enough stories that interest me to keep me watching for a bit longer — but Heroes is hovering on the brink of joining other shows on my fall cleaning pile.

Overall grade: C.

What do you think of season 3 so far? Is the show back on track, or has it derailed itself completely?