Pop Vultures

Wednesday night has nothing worth watching, and now the lovely Thursday night glut is over - no more shall one night provide me with an entire weekend’s worth of televisual goodness. In fact, with Lost’s season finale scheduled for next week, there are a measly two hours of television worth watching tonight. Two! Oh, the humanity.

Grey’s Anatomy wraps things up with a two-hour season finale. Who wants to bet that it’ll end with some sort of Meredith/Derek cliffhanger? Yeah, I know. No one’s that big of a sucker. (ABC, 9:00)

Ugly Betty also finishes its season and will almost certainly use the romantic cliff-hanger, as well. The problem, of course, is whether anyone cares about Betty and Henry anymore. There is also a guest appearance by a certain train-wreck starlet, but I’m doing my best to ignore that fact. (ABC, 8:00)

It’s season finale night! The bad news is that, just as we get used to having scripted television back, the US shows are going off the air for four months. The good news is that all of these shows have been renewed for next season, so no matter what cliff-hangers they throw at us, we can rest assured that they’ll be resolved…eventually.

First up is Gossip Girl, which I still love unabashedly despite the continued presence of Michelle Trachtenberg as Serena’s arch-nemesis. Considering that it’s the season finale, I fully expect to see betrayal, lies, and at least one really big explosion. Maybe they’ll blow up Georgina. (CW, 8:00)

House had a diabolically good first half of its season-ending two-parter, and I can’t wait to see how it ends. Amber? Amber? Really? (FOX, 9:00)

Bones also went the two-parter route, though I can’t say I’m too concerned about Booth dying. Actually, I’m more annoyed that his crazy stalker interrupted the karaoke. I’m rooting for an encore to wrap up the season. We already know they do a mean version of Foreigner. (FOX, 8:00)

How I Met Your Mother will only resume its place as my favorite comedy when it refuses to allow She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named to guest star. Fortunately, tonight is a starlet-free episode. (CBS, 8:30)

Finally, there’s One Tree Hill. I may still feel dirty when I watch it, but that’s never stopped me before. (CW, 9:00)

Sometime between last week and this one, I apparently gave up on Top Chef. Perhaps I’ll tune back in when they have an all-star version with CJ and Dale.

I will, of course, be watching America’s Next Top Model, if only because Dominique has to go home eventually, and I need to be there when it happens. (CW, 8:00)

American Idol last night, ANTM tonight? Tomorrow, I’m going to pretend to read Dostoyevsky while watching a Civil War documentary and listening to a Dvorak cello symphony, if only to maintain the illusion that I exercise my brain cells from time to time.

Mondays are rarely easy (though this one is much better, what with it being a bank holiday in the UK). Still, the network scheduling folks have loaded up the TV schedule today, providing a nice little reward for making it through the day.

With Blair and Jenny engaged in outright war and mean girl Georgina stirring up trouble, Gossip Girl is downright delicious these days. (CW, 8:00)

How I Met Your Mother returns to a Stella-centric plot line, which I can only pretend to care about. Still, so long as Barney is there, I can’t see this show dropping below #2 on my to-watch list. (CBS, 8:30)

Bones finally gets around to putting Brennan’s father on trial. I’m sure that the courtroom dynamics will be every bit as realistic as the 3-D modeling in the forensics lab, but I’ll happily watch anyway. (FOX, 8:00)

I have only one thing to say about One Tree Hill: WHY don’t they just kill Dan? WHY? (CW, 9:00)

House returns with yet another case that is solved through morally dubious means. The real mystery these days is why Jesse Spencer and Jennifer Morrison are still in the opening credits while the three new docs aren’t. (FOX, 9:00)

The brothers of Supernatural discover that the dead have one hell of a long-distance calling plan when Dean gets a phone call from their dear, deceased daddy. Based on the clip below, it’s going to be a terribly serious, angsty episode, but that isn’t going to stop me from watching. (CW, 9:00)

The Invisibles premieres tonight in the UK. My dedication to all things Buffy means that I must check out each new show featuring a former cast member, but this thieves-in-Devon comedy, starring Anthony Stewart Head, sounds good enough to watch on its own merit. Plus, it’s the one show I get to watch as it airs. (BBC1, 9:00)

We finally get a plot line for The Office set in the actual office, when Michael decides to give Stanley an attitude adjustment. I’m sure that will work out well for all concerned. (NBC, 9:00)

On Lost, things go wrong for the castaways. I’m sorry, was that a spoiler? (ABC, 10:00)

I’m a bit uncertain about the direction in which Ugly Betty is taking the Renee character (it’s the wacky mentally ill sister, doing all sorts of crazy things!), so this one dropped a bit on the viewing priority spreadsheet. Okay, I don’t actually have a spreadsheet yet, but if the networks keep adding shows to Thursday, I’m going to need one. (ABC, 8:00)

Surprisingly, I rather enjoyed last week’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy, though it would have been infinitely better if Izzie had been one of the patients. Who contracted a painful illness. And then died. This week is all about the returning former love interests, with Addison and Rebecca making appearances. (ABC, 9:00)

Check out a clip from this week’s Supernatural after the jump.

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